Most foreigners that come to Thailand on vacation or for business end up with girls in the bar scene. As a short time visitor to the Kingdom you don’t really have the best possibilities of meeting what we could call ‘mainstream’ Thai ladies.

Those that live in Thailand for longer periods of times such as expats, sometimes also have problems with meeting girls outside the expat bars and hangouts. Those that do, often meet their girlfriend or wives at work or on the internet.

There are major differences between these ‘mainstream’ ladies and those that frequent the bar and freelance scene. If you ever expect to get far with one of them you must know that they expect you to be faithfull, how to be polite and respectful of Thai culture. The reward for your efforts more than makes up for it. Thai ladies are incredibly warm, sweet and fun to be with.
There’s some things that are different from the west. When you are out in public with your date or even your girlfriend, you should be careful not to overdo physical contact. While handholding is ok, kissing in public is never. Take note of Thai couples if in doubt.

Meeting Thai Ladies

The dating scene is different in Thailand and the courtship process is more subtle. In Thailand, the guy is always expected to do the chase and the girls must play hard to get. Even so, this is not always the case, particularly if you are in a group of friends. Thai ladies are willing to work to get the man they want. Don’t be surprised to get A LOT of attention if you are decently dressed and groomed and otherwise friendly and sociable. It’s usually easier to meet Thai ladies when you are out with friends than to be alone. It takes the pressure a little of the interaction and is more fun. In Thai mainstream nightspots, such as those found on Ekamai, RCA and Ratchada, it’s quite normal for a male friend of the girls to introduce you and make contact if the girls are too shy, or even the waiting staff may do so playfully. Thai nightspots are not the best place to look for a girlfriend or a serious relationship if you are new in Thailand.
Another and good option is internet dating. It’s one of the few options where you can meet quality Thai ladies without being introduced. Many Thai women are a bit shy about dating foreigners and don’t want to go to clubs or bars. They feel more safe and bold online. You can chat and talk to thai women before coming to Thailand and get to know them and their lives before you arrive. Many guys have met their girlfriends or wives this way and it usually works out better than meeting women in bars. If you are looking for a serious relationship or marriage you are best of with a site like Thai Love Lines (see review) which has many members and is the place to meet girls interested in long term relationships. If you are just looking to make friends and have a bit of fun, you can try some of the other sites such as ThailandFriends which is more of a community. There seems to be a new dating site popping up everyday, but those to are the most popular.

There’s also the option of meeting girls that work in the commercial field such as sales ladies in malls and shops. They usually get hit on a lot, particularly in expat and tourist areas, so watch out for those that take long to reply if you sms or call them. They may be seeing several other guys at the same time.

These tips come straight from the source, that is, a survey of women on online Asian dating websites. Use this tips and you will already be far ahead of most ‘chumps’ online.

1) Never Use Pick Up Lines In The Email
Be orginal, don’t use the same tired bar pickup lines that she has heard over and over. Instead comment on something on her profile, be interesting!

2) Patience and Persistence is KEY!
You know, most quality women live busy lives! She can’t be online all the time. Just because she is making you wait for a reply does not mean she is not interested. So she makes you wait a while. You do the same, but don’t go overboard, make it sure you are interested!

3) Politeness is THE WAY to Go!
Online, you can’t see the other person you are talking to. Be careful with using remarks that can be seen as offensive, especially with Asian women. Remember, she can’t see that you are smiling while typing out a response. It’s best to be polite until you have some rapport.

4) Give Her Your Information
Make your profile interesting and with enough information so that she can check you out when she gets your message. Don’t disclose too much though, make here guess about you.

5) Don’t be Afraid to Share
Share more information with her than is in your profile, when you are writing with her. Women can be wary of guys online, so make her feel comfortable by sharing some of your life and everyday stories with here.

6) Write As If You Were Speaking to Her in Person
Don’t write anything you wouldn’t say to her in person. Don’t let the anonymity of the internet trick you into being bolder than you actually are or making things up. Remember that the goal is to meet up. You don’t want to have to act when you meet her

7) Be a Gentleman
I am not talking about that old idea of holding doors or buying her roses, but always keep your cool online. Don’t get upset if she doesn’t answer, don’t get jealous or act weird. She will be freaked out. Just be nice, casual and friendly and don’t take yourself to serious.

- member database: circa 15,000
- languages: English, Spanish, German, French, Dutch, Thai
- price: 1month= $19.99, 3month= $39.99, 6month= $69.99, 1yr.= $119,99

A real sticking point for many Asian guys (other guys too)! If you lack confidence around women, how are they ever going to know what a cool, fun and interesting guy you are? There’s no easy fix for shyness, only push yourself to get out there and talk to people, most girls will respond well to a guy who approaches her as long as he is relaxed and confident. And if the worst scenario happens, she will probably just politely excuse herself! No big deal, huh? If you are shy and want to get some confidence without taking to big risks, you can also try online dating (Asia Friend Finder Review)

2 )Nerdiness / Very Conventional

Has to do with Asian culture, family and expectations. Go to school, study hard, get good grades then get a good job that pays well. THEN you can get the girl! A bad mindset to have, that you need money and power to get a girl!

3) Body Image / Not Going To The Gym

White guys in Asia gets a bad rep for being fat, even if its muscle. Asian guys in the US gets a rep for being skinny! Not fair, but something you can work on. Working out and lifting heavy weights will give you so much return, besides looking great. More confidence, more energy, more inner strenght.

4) You deserve white girls!

Some Asian guys seem to have negative beliefs about dating white women. Some of it may come from not feeling good enough or that there is racism to overcome. It’s true to some degree that there is racism, but thats the same for all interracial dating. If you have enough confidence and believe in your self, others will too.

5) Approach Anxiety

Cultural maybe? It is normal for asians to do everything in (big) groups and stay with the group the entire time. But if you never approach a girl you like you won’t get the chance to show her what a great guy you are. Most women respect a guy who sees something he likes and goes for it. This is even more true for white girls, because they expect a man to show his interest in her more directly and not need a support group!

6) Be More Direct Sexually

There is not the same stigma attached to making out or getting physical in public for most white girls, as for asian girls. In fact, if you don’t touch her at all during the first 10 minutes you talk to her, you will probably end up in the dreaded friend zone. The best is of course to make her initiate contact and then escalate.

7) Have A Good Sense Of Fashion

I am a white guy who has lived in Asia for some years now, I know how important fashion and clothes are. Asian fashion is really cool and unique for the most part, so don’t be afraid to import some style! If you have the build (see nr. 3) a good look for asian guys is the bad boy Triad look. I have also seen many asian guys do really well with white girls dressed sharply in more classy clothes.
8 ) Be More Of A Lover Instead Of A Provider

The family structure is different in the west. Men and women both work and earn good wages (I know asian women do this too), and women have been told not to depend on men for money, so they don’t place as much importance on job and career in the men they look for. Instead they look for men who can give them powerful emotions and lead her imagination. Try do develop that side of you.

9) Hold Eye Contact!

Eye contact is a big deal in western societies, not so much in Asia. Hold eye contact with all people, but especially women you would like to meet. Just for a bit longer than feels comfortable and don’t look away first.

10) Not Being Able To Let Go And Have Fun!

Asian culture generally encourages that you hide your true emotions in public, but western women will feel disconnected from you, if you don’t show and share your emotions. It is also ok to disagree openly with something she says and say EXACTLY what you mean. Within common sense of course!

A lot of online matchmaking sites (Thai Love Links, Asian Friend Finder), pride on finding matches between these lovely Asian women and men from Europe, US, Canada and Australia.

Most of the women online are mature and honest about finding their dream partner. For these women, the man should act with consideration and confidence to create the best impression as well as avoid making cultural mistakes, that could ruin an otherwise great opportunity for love.

Many foreigners look for Asian women, but are not aware of the rich history and culture of the region, and so they miss out on a lot of dates with these women, because they do not understand her culture. It is so important to be culturally aware of differences.

Most of these women from Asia are sincere, helpful, and admire cleanliness. They usually seek durable relationship that may mature into life long partnership with responsible, humorous and well settled males. The women appear mysterious and complex.

Prior to dating them, male partners should learn everything about her likes and dislikes and cultural background. This helps to break the ice while meeting these women.

These women treasure their customs, value systems and family bond. Single men, while dating her, should initially win her family’s approval, avoid using foul language so as not offend her or her family members and offer simple gifts when taking her out. Dating them is unique as they expect love, respect and want to feel cherished.

With almost 3 million(!) members worldwide you will not feel alone in your search for that special girl!

You can sign up for free, but some features will be limited. Filling out a profile requires some steps, but most can be skipped, so you can go back later and fill them out if needed. You should have a look around at the site before upgrading anyway.

There is a lot of useful small details, such as a comparability rating from comparing how you match each other, member scores, video profile and much more. I think it is a great way to get to know the other person, than usual dating sites.

Free and popular features include message board, chat room, personal blogs and articles, all makes the experience very community like and friendly.

It is also possible to search for members using location down to zip code in the US for free. Outside US you will have to be a premium member for this.

Also see my review of Thai Love Links, the best site for finding your Thai love and meet thai women online!

What does being proactive mean in this? It is the opposite of being re-active which is only responding to what is happening around you. Instead be the one that makes things happen!

Now, this means with Asian women is that you should always be the one to make the FIRST move, i.e. approach her. You should also be the one to make the LAST move.

Asian women are raised to expect this. Making the FIRST or LAST move would make her feel like a slut, which she wants to avoid of course.

Is this so different from the west? Men usually make the first move there too, but we all have probably experienced women taking action too, right? They can do it, because there isn’t really as much social stigma attached to it.

BUT the number one reason why you should not wait for her to “allow” you to do something, is that you will miss SO many opportunities because she is shy or acting shy, which is in line with her cultural upbringing.

Being the one to make the approach will also give you endless chances at meeting a great girl, as opposed to only approaching once you get the “go” signal.