When I first started dating Asian women, I was fresh of the boat. It was my first longer stay in Asia, except for a few vacations.
So, when I was out looking for girls and dating Asian women, I would bring my ‘moves’ from my own country. But often I would get blown out or rejected without me even understanding why!
As I got Asian friends I began to understand, most of the times I got rejected I had crossed some invisible cultural boundary or been to direct for the situation.
I have to say this was one of the hardest things for me to learn, that when you are dating Asian women, some things are just different and you just have to accept that!
Anyway, knowing the rules of the game of dating Asian women is always a good idea, so let’s look at some of the cultural differences between the east and the west:
This is a major difference that many guys that want to meet and date Asian women find difficult to understand. In our culture there is a strong focus on being unique and individualistic. Standing out is mostly considered a good thing. Same with being self-sufficient and being able to get things done on your own. These are all traits that are considered attractive where I come from, but in Asia it’s a bit different.
All Asian society’s and philosophies are strongly collectivist, they have their focus on the group, not the individual. Their focus is on the individual’s relation to the family, group and society. Doing enjoyable things on your own is often considered selfish, why would you not want to include the group? This is why you often see Asians in those large groups of people.
It’s not like they are all friends or anything, but their way is to do things in groups not just as friends. But this also means that unless you know someone, anyone, in the group, you are just not part of their world. You cannot just go up and approach an Asian girl in the group. She would feel she would let her friends down or be afraid to be judged by the group. You have to find a way in first. Go talk to one of the guys first or if you are in a group, try to introduce them to one another. This would be acceptable to them. Also remember always to invite the group if you want to take the girl home with you, suggest going for something to eat after the club, then go for karaoke or Wii at your place.
Overcoming this can be tough on your own, that’s why I recommend online dating for those who have just arrived or just don’t have any Asian friends.
Sexy vs. Cute
This is another difference in way of thinking. In the west we want our women sexy and hot.
In the east particularly Japan, the ideal are for women to be cute or ‘kawaii’. Behaving more like teenage girls even when grown up, giggling, wearing ‘cute’ clothes, big smiles and even having cute accessories.
I am going to let pictures explain here:
Girl on left sexy, girl on left cute… I know they are both hot, but you get the idea.
So, what does this mean? Not much really. It’s just a front and in my experience Asian girls are very sexual once they are alone with you, it’s just society puts this pressure on them. Anyway, I like cute Asian girls, don’t you? But you have to remember that group acceptance and fitting in is very important for her. This means that you can’t always read her feelings as easily as with a western woman, she may seem shy and naive, but could really be waiting impatiently for you to make a move, or she could find you boring but still be smiling at you!
Public displays of affection
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Or PDA, in Asia it’s generally considered bad manners to be touchy feely in public. The older generation would not even hold hands in public.
But times are changing and it’s now ok to hold hands and be generally open about your romantic feelings in public. Don’t go over the top though, no ass grabbing or heavy making out!
Kissing in public is still not really ok in my opinion, so don’t take it as a rejection if you go for a kiss in public and get rejected. Instead get a private place, there’s tons of them around in Asia or better still your own place!
This goes for clubs and bars aswell, lay a little on the easy side with touching compared to what you would normally do.
Another thing to consider, it can be difficault to know if a guy and a girl are together or just friends.
Tags: Asian Dating. Asian Women, Dating, Pickup and Seduction, Online Dating Reviews and Tips, Pickup and Seduction
January 30th, 2009 at 9:18 am
[...] Sexy or Cute? Cultural differences when dating Asian women! | Asian Dating Secrets [...]
May 30th, 2009 at 2:03 am
Yes asian women are shy and naive sometimes they intend to trust someone to soon just for security and for their future sake…
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